Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Prostitution vs. IT Services

I always believed that there is not much difference between prostitution and IT Services. I have tabulated my observations in the table below. Guys this does not hold good for every one, so please do not get offended. If u do get offended i don't give a fuck.


Trait

Prostitution

IT Services

Body part sold

we all know, no need to mention

Suppose to be brain

Initial Selling

Does loads of show and dance.What you see is what you get.

Lots of dancing. Only best of the lot is showcased. Not necessary you get the same.

Pricing

Loves T&M (Time and Material). For people from non IT background-This means you pay hourly.

Does not reduce her rates based on the clients ability to pay.

Bulk Discount offered(maybe).

Fixed Bid works

Same here





Fixed bid is always risky

Customer Satisfaction

Doesn't give a shit

some do, most don't

Gives options for clients to save money

not at all

most of them don't. They think if they do that they will run out of business

Change in requirements

I guess will not be acceptable. Lets say you get her saying one person will screw her and suddenly 2 or 3 people try to do that,she will have objections, surely about billing and has to do Impact analysis. There are other change in requirements but lets keep it simple.

If it is T&M some might not have problem and some might.

Same here.


I guess in T&M motto is to "embrace change" as it generates more revenue.

Billing

I think will have ethics. I am not sure, would she take money, even if the customer doesn't screw her.

What can i say, you guys decide.

Risk Management

Pregnancy/Cops/Diseases etc.. Don't know what they do... really.

Scope Management, Escalation Procedure, Impact Analysis.. what not. End of the day situation is same.

When shit hits the roof

Say you end up getting AIDS(hahahha), I am sure you will not find the same prostitute. Even if you do manage to find her, she will blame the condom you used (if you did). Say she accepts it, nothing much you can do.

Same here, if the software doesn't work, or has bugs. Blame Requirements. If there is no outstanding invoice, you are shit out of luck.


Highest Bidder Wins


If she has 2 options, i am sure she would choose the one who pays most


If you have 2 offers from Services company, which one will you choose?



I might be way off in my observation about prostitutes as i do not have much experience there. What the heck? Vatsyayana wrote kaama sutra just by living with prostitutes. I don't know if its true, i read somewhere that he never experienced real sex himself. I have very less experience in IT Services industry as well, but i have seen them. Rest is left for you guys to decide and comment. I am trying to answer the question “Is prostitution bad for Society?” It would be awesome if a real prostitute (you know what i mean) finds this blog and comments.
Sorry for the table formatting guys, that's the best i could do on blogger. Publishing this has been real hard work....

K

Thursday, July 17, 2008

One Full Year with Same Employer

I have recently completed one full year of employment with same employer, ohoooo sounds like a big achievement looking at history. After coming back to India in 2004, i have had numerous employers. Some relationships were way too short like 2 weeks or 3 weeks, shorter than some of the dating relationships. I have made lots of mistakes in choosing employers (those employers will be saying we did too by hiring you.. hahahahha). I guess my professional dissatisfaction led me to make such decisions. In fact when i look back on one of those decisions, i get butterflies in my stomach even now. I was working at Thoughtworks and they were going through some slow season at that time. I was twiddling my thumbs for quite long time so i decided to move on. You know which companies offer i accepted, WIPRO. I just cant understand what was i thinking? You learn more being on bench(beach) at TW than you learn working 16 hours at Wipro. I consider this decision worser than converting to Islam from Hinduism. God what was i thinking....
   I quit Wipro after 2 or 3 weeks. I returned home in the evening and told my wife, today was my last day at Wipro. She was shocked! We were new parents at that time. We went out for dinner and she told me, listen if its one or 2 employers i can understand this is too much. I think your expectations are wrong or you have no idea what you want. Till that point, i always believed if not anything at least i knew what i wanted in life. I started believing that there is something wrong with me. Life moved on employer after employer (sounds funny...) 
   We moved to Melbourne in June 2007. I started working with a start up in July 2007, since then after a looooong gap, i am once again professionally happy. Some of my friends have asked what is the difference. Is it because its a start up or because its a product company? Below are my observations

1. Me=Developer && !Manager
2. I don't manage any idiots, its somebody else's pain now 
3. I don't think i have the personality to work in services industry. It is a product company.
4. Guys i work with are more arrogant than i am, naturally i feel @ home. They are way better developers than i am.
5. We are a company of 5 people there is not much room for hypocrisy. I still love our CTO's leadership.
6. I am 8 hour busy, i don't feel sleepy @ work. If i do we have a server room where we go and take a nap 
7. Last but not the least, first thing i was told when i joined them was that, i was hired because they fired a developer as he was not good. Did i mention, he went to UNI with our CTO. What a nice thing to tell an employee first thing on his first day. I loved it.
After that self esteem smashing question asked by my wife, I was even scared to ask my employer how i was doing. I was hired on probation and was confirmed after 6 months of employment. Looking at the stock options i have got, i am assuming employer is happy. My wife is ecstatic that i completed a year with an employer (hahahahahha). 
I am sure those employers i was unhappy with were probably unhappy with me too... couple of them were unhappy as i looked drowsy/slept during afternoon or meetings.  It is a problem with me, if my mind is not occupied, i feel sleepy any time of the day (hahahaha...). What is the big deal if an employee has a 15 min nap in the afternoon. These fuckin morons are so hung up on that Western/British shit that was left over. Employee will be more productive and will have more juice in him after that nap. I guess i am justifying it because i behave that way (hahahaha). 
I wonder what kinda experience it would have been, if it was not Employment but Marriage? Jees I don't wanna think about it.

K